


Ninja Sex Party and The Holy Grail

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), various cameos of youtube personalities
Genre: A Monty Python crossover birthed from ramblings on tumblr, Gen, I do not have a Beta for this, If you would like to please yell 'Ay', this is a crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 23:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7408705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>History is turned on its comic head when, in 10th century England (Well not really, but whatever), King Danny Y. Sexbang travels the countryside to find knights who will join him at the NSP Table in the Game Grumps Building. Gathering up the men is a tale in itself but after a bit of a party at the Game Grumps building, many decide to leave only to be stopped by God who sends them on a quest: to find the Holy Grail. Will Danny Y. Sexbang complete the quest at hand? Will he succeed? Read this outrageous tale of silliness and find out for yourself!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue and List of roles

**Author's Note:**

> None of this is to be taken seriously.

Ninja Sex Party and The Holy Grail

As written by: Soul_Man_Bastard  
Inspired by: Ramblings on Tumblr  
Special thanks to: Anyone who finds this silly and our Swedish translator.

Ninja Sex Party and the Holy Grail!  
[Ninjä Sex Pärti ik den Hølie Gräilen]

Starring as our crossover cast  
[Huvudrollen som vår crossover gjutna]

Danny Sexbang as King Arthur King of the Britons  
Arin as his loyal servant Patsy  
Ninja Brian as Sir Lancelout  
Barry as Brave Sir Robin  
Ross as The Australian Taunting Guard  
Jack Walsh as Sir Bedemir  
Vernon as Sir Galahad

Also starring  
[Di Wik Alsø]

Natewantstobattle as Sir Barry’s Minstrel  
Kevin as Prince Herbert  
Mark Fischbach as The Black Knight

Also Starring  
[Alsø alsø wik]

Jontron as Tim the Enchanter  
Jacques as the Rabbit  
Caddicarus as the Bridge keeper  
Brutalmoose as Dennis

[Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?]

Jacksepticeye, Markiplier and Pewdiepie as the three headed knight 

[See the løveli lakes, the wøndërful telephøne system and mäni interesting furry animals]

Jacksepticeye, Markiplier and Pewdiepie as The Knights who say Ni!  
Rhett and Link as Guard 1 and Guard 2  
Caddicarus as Father of Prince Herbert  
Holly as The Witch  
Suzy as Roger The Shrubber

The characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional. Signed RICHARD M. NIXON

[Including the majestik moose! A Møøse once bit my sister... No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"]

We apologise for the fault in the translation. Those responsible have been sacked.

[Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasty]

We apologise again for the fault in the translation. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA  
Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT  
Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL  
Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III  
Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME  
Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG  
Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER  
Brütäl møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN  
Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER  
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER

The writer of this fic hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

[Thät’s ä lië]

Executive Producer Me & “Me” The Wonder Llama.

Producer Me Assisted By Me J. LLAMA   
Me Q. LLAMA III   
Me LLAMA ME Z. LLAMA IX   
Directed By 40 SPECIALLY TRAINED ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS   
6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS   
142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS   
14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)   
REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON   
76000 BATTERY LLAMAS FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY   
and Me & Me


	2. Chapter 1: The introduction of King Sexbang and his servant Arin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this first chapter, King Danny Y. Sexbang and his trust yet grumpy Servant Arin travel through the lands of, honestly, I don't know. England or something.

Chapter 1: The introduction of King Sexbang and his servant Arin

ENGLAND 932 AD (Well not really, but whatever)

It was a grim, cold night and all was foggy, which is why it felt like it was night… So it wasn’t night, it just wasn’t very sunny. At first nothing was heard, until the sound of hooves echoed in the distance. As the sounds drew closer, two figures emerged from the fog…  
It was King Danny Y. Sexbang, in his blue, tight, shiny, spandex ‘armor’ with cape and huge shiny boots, riding an imaginary horse, while his loyal, though rather grumpy servant, Arin was banging two halves of a coconut together to create the illusion of a horse being ridden.

“Woah there!” Said Danny and the two came to a stop in front a huge castle, that had ‘Good Mythical Morning’ written on it. First there wasn’t a response, so our heroes drew closer, until they heard someone shout.

“Who goes there?” Demanded Guard Rhett.

“It is I, Danny Y. Sexbang, son of Avi Avidan, from the castle of Game Grumps. King of the Britons, defeater of the Samurai Abstinence Patrol, sovereign of all of Attitude City and wielder of Excalibur!”

“…You’re not British though…” Guard Link objected.

“Does it really matter?” Arin, the loyal yet Grumpy servant, asked. The two guards Rhett and Link just looked at each other.

“Pull the other one!” Rhett just said.

“I am. And this is my trusty, yet grumpy, servant Arin. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court of Ninja Sex Party. I must speak with your lord and master.” Danny continued.

“What, ridden on a horse?” Link asked confused.

“Yes!” Arin responded, quickly hiding the Coconuts.

“You're using coconuts!” Rhett said.

“What?”

“King Danny Y. Sexbang, I told you they wouldn’t fall for this.” Arin whispered to him. Danny decided to keep up the façade though.

“You've got two empty halves of a coconut and you're banging them together.” Rhett said, glaring at the duo. King Danny Y. Sexbang was getting just the tiniest bit nervous. For these two mustn’t know that the only reason they weren’t using actual horses was due to budget restraints.

“So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through—“

“Where’d you get the coconut?” Link interrupted him. Arin and Danny paused.

“We found them.” Arin just said.

“Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!” Rhett announced.

“What do you mean?” Danny asked.

“Well this is a temperate zone.” Link simply replied, crossing his arms and staring down at the duo.

“The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land.” Danny said and Arin just looked on in disbelief. What kind of explanation was that?

Link and Rhett looked at one another then at the duo Then back at each other. Link then asked “Are you suggesting that Coconuts migrate?”

“Not at all, they could be carried.” Arin suggested.

“What… a Swallow carrying a coconut?” Rhett tilted his head.

“It could be gripping it by the husk!” Danny said quickly.

“It's not a question of where he grips it!” Rhett shouted. “It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.” Link added.

“Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Danny Y. Sexbang from the Court of Ninja Sex Party is here.” Danny said, sounding more and more impatient. He didn’t want to continue this useless discussion.

“Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?” Link questioned.

“Please…” Arin sighed.

“Am I right?”

Danny shouted back. “I am not interested.”

“It could be carried by an African swallow!” Rhett threw in.

“Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.”

“Oh, yeah, I agree with that...”

Danny formed a cup around his mouth and shouted: “Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Ninja Sex Party?!”

“But then of course African swallows are not migratory.” Link said.

“Oh yeah.” Danny agreed but collected himself again “Could we please see your master and ask him if he wants to join my court at Ninja Sex Party?”

“So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...” Rhett said thoughtfully. Meanwhile, Dan and Arin had enough. King Danny Y. Sexbang, mounted his ‘horse’ and Arin started banging the coconuts together and they ‘rode’ away, leaving Rhett and Link arguing.

“Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?” Rhett said.

Link shook his head. “No, they'd have to have it on a line.”

Rhett nodded. “Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!”

“What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?”

“Well, why not?”

 

But our heroes, Arin and King Danny Y. Sexbang were already too far to register the rest of this frankly, pointless discussion. As they rode through the forest, far away from this silly castle, in hopes of finding something less stupid, or at least something that’d lead them to something resembling a plot.  
The duo, after many action packed swordfights that due to budget constraint cannot be shown, found themselves in front of a tiny village, in a miserable situation. There was mud and shit everywhere and it didn’t seem like a place to find knights at all. A mortician, wearing a suspicious mask that looked like a yellow mouse with red cheeks, was carrying a wagon full of dead people.

“Bring out your dead!” The Masked Mortician, people would refer to him as CreepsMcPasta, announced.

“Bring out your dead!” He announced again “Bring out your dead.” With each clang of his bell, people knew their end was near.

“Here’s one. Nine pence.” Said a customer, carrying the ‘corpse’ of an old man. “I’m not dead!” Said the old man in shock.

CreepsMcPasta frowned confused, which was not seen underneath his mask. “What?”

“Nothing here’s your nine pence.” Said the customer.

“He says, he’s not dead.” CreepsMcPasta scolded.

“Yes he is.”

“I’m not!”

“He isn’t.”

There was an awkward pause and the customer spoke. “Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.”

“I’m getting better!” The old man shouted, sounding as lively as he could.

“No you’re not!” The customer quickly said “You’ll be stone dead in a minute.”

“Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.” CreepsMcPasta was about to leave. 

“I don’t want to go into the cart!” The old man whimpered. “Oh don’t be such a baby.” The customer sighed.

“I can’t take him…”

The old man said once again “I feel fine!”

“Oh do us a favor, CreepsMcPasta!”

“I can’t.”

“Well, you can hang around a couple of minutes, he won’t be long.”

“Naaah, I have to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.”

“Well, when is your next round?”

“Thursday.” CreepsMcPasta said. The Old Man had gotten on to his feet meanwhile and announced cheerfully “I think I’ll go for a walk!”

“You’re not fooling anyone!” The customer looked at CreepsMcPasta with pleading eyes. “Look isn’t there anything you can do?”

The Old man chanted “I feel happy! Happy!” and danced a little bit.

As respond, CreepsMcPasta bludgeoned his head with his big bell. There was the sound of skull cracking and a loud clang as the old man fell dead to the ground, leaving a pool of blood that mixed with the feces.  
“Ah thanks very much!” The customer said relieved and patted CreepsMcPasta on the shoulder.

“Not at all, see you on Thursday.” CreepsMcPasta loaded the dead body on the cart. That’s when they saw King Danny Y. Sexbang and his trusty, yet grumpy, Servant Arin ‘ride by’.

“Who’s that then?” CreepsMcPasta asked.

“I don’t know.” The customer shrugged.

“Must be a king then.” CreepsMcPasta concluded.

“Why?”

“He hasn’t got shit all over him.” And with that, CreepsMcPasta, carried the cart away, sounding his bell, shouting “Bring your dead!” Over and over again and watched with great sadness, as most people hid from him. Maybe it was his mask, the fact that he’s a mortician, or his silly name that repulsed people. Honestly, CreepsMcPasta didn’t care, with a name like his the only thing you could be is a cook, or a mortician.

Certainly not a knight.

But we'll get to that soon enough.


End file.
